Have you been basking in the luxuriousness of your inherent value and worth as a creative goddess?
If not, what is keeping you from accessing your inner richness?
Consider these three things as consequences to feeling frustrated, worried, sad, and disconnected from your worth:
- Comparing yourself to other healers, priestesses, ceremonialists, or any other women and becoming jealous of their success. Which leads to . . .
- Worrying about whether your gifts are good enough, and then you seek out “new” gifts that aren’t truly yours, or you wonder why you feel invisible. The truth is — No one is going to see you if you can’t see your brilliance and value yourself for who you are. Which leads to . . .
- Finding ways to compensate for feeling unworthy, insecure, and doubting your value by filling yourself with outside devices such as: overeating or under eating, overworking, excessive shopping, watching several movies or an entire TV series in one sitting, or having sex with unavailable men which all compensates for you not loving yourself, and feeling “not good enough”. Or perhaps you go the other route, and deplete yourself with work because feeling empty most of the time is what you know rather than filling yourself with the yumminess of you!
The Love you have for the new dress or new movie or chocolate bar is the Love you actually want to feel within you.
Personal Story about comparing myself to others which caused feelings of jealousy, anger, and sadness . . .
A few years ago, a friend shared a Youtube video with me of a woman poet giving a TedTalk in poetic form about women rising up into themselves in order to save the earth. This topic sits near and dear to my heart. As I watched her share her poetic story with such passionate vulnerability and powerful articulation, I was inspired, uplifted, and very impressed!
Then I became angry! I thought to myself, "Why am I not doing that? Why am I not presenting my poems or stories or wisdom in the world? I too want to uplift women and humanity, don't I?"
I sat with the anger coursing through me like a fiery lava flow, and asked myself why I was so angry? The woman was amazing, so why couldn't I celebrate her? Then I realized something I didn't want to realize, I was jealous of her. I too wanted to be out there in a big bold way sharing the truth of my experiences as a mystical woman. (At the time this story took place I hadn't yet began the Rising of the Divine Feminine video series, and hadn't yet created my program to uplift and transform women into their unique goddess selves.)
Then I began worrying about whether I was good enough to be out there speaking and sharing my mystical experiences and wisdom. My thoughts spiraled down into more and more worries about my own gifts and experiences not being good enough to be received by others. I had thoughts like: I will never write a poem that good or even if I do I won't be able to recite it as well as she did. What if I'm not to share my poetry in that way, maybe there are other ways to share my experiences. Yes, but how would I do that? What would I say? What would that look like? And who would actually listen?
As these thoughts seized me, I stomped around my bedroom talking to myself, and allowed the thoughts to consume me until . . . I sat down, and cried. As I cried, I wondered why I was so sad? I realized somehow I wasn't living the life I imagined for myself. I didn't know I had a deep passion for presenting my stories to people until I watched this woman sharing her amazingness. My jealousy was actually my soul's desire turned outward. For a video on this story, and how to work with jealousy check out: Unlocking Jealousy.
Thankfully, I didn't follow the negative shit storm spiral down into the toilet for too long or try to compensate by eating a bar of chocolate. Instead, I decided to face my anger, and watch the video again to see why it was triggering me so much. By watching it again, and seeing the poet unleashing her courageous unique gifts I came to realize I wanted to take the next steps to get myself out there. I wanted to shine my brilliance! I asked myself, and my divine feminine guidance council, what is the next best for me to bring my voice and wisdom into the world?
The answer took some time to arise, and yet it did arrive. I received the call to create the Rising of the Divine Feminine Video Series, and embarked on my mission to inspire, uplift, and transform women into their authentic soul expressions as their unique goddess selves.
The key point here is what I truly was missing at that moment . . . I was missing the absolute Knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am worthy just as I am. I can accept myself just as I am. I can love myself just as I am. If I had felt my self-worth as inherent to who I am in that moment, I would have been celebrating the amazing poet instead of becoming jealous and angry.
Even so, the poet helped to catapult me further into Knowing my mission and work in the world because I took the challenge and transformed it into an inspiring opportunity for personal growth. The best piece of this was acknowledging I have wisdom to share. This piece helped me to love myself a little bit more than before. And I recognized more of the fullness of who I am. Which ultimately allowed me to celebrate myself and this amazing poet, each of our unique gifts.
The Key to remember is: Our self-worth is inherent to who we are.
Our souls are unique expressions of the divine feminine source.
We are loved and supported for being exactly who we are.
To take yourself out of a negative downward shit storm spiral of insecurity, unworthiness, and "not enoughness", and come back to wholeness and self-love, take these six action steps:
- Acknowledge how your thoughts and emotions are highjacking your experience in the moment. Or acknowledge how you might be compensating for "not enough" feelings by reaching for food, overworking, buying five dresses you don't need etc.
- Stop the negative mind train, and compensation behavior by saying STOP!
- Sit with the emotions of what is arising in the moment. By staying here to allow the emotions to move through, great energy is released and fullness of self returns.
- Come to your center to feel as much of the love of who you are as possible. You can ask Mother Mary, Tara, Mary Magdalene, Sophia, the Primordial Mother to help you connect with the love of who you are.
- Accept yourself in the moment as you are.
- Then when you're ready, ask for guidance for clarity of what is happening, and the best steps to move forward.