Intimacy is being fully present and authentic with ourselves so we can be fully present and authentic with another person.
By authentic, I mean being true to experiencing what we’re feeling inside, to then express it outside of us, yet from a grounded, neutral, present place.
Even sitting down to share lunch or dinner with a friend, partner, loved one, or co-worker, we often aren’t fully there, fully present in the moment.
Often we are preoccupied or distracted by or own thoughts about what we think of someone, what they think of us, or by our to-do list, social media, and what we could be doing if we weren’t having dinner right now or we convince ourselves about doing just this one thing then I can be present and available . . . but there is always just one more thing.
There is a sense of urgency — I’ve got to . . . finish this spreadsheet, write a plan, clean the kitchen, do the dishes, help the kids with their homework etc. The doing of the tasks are okay, it’s the sense of urgency arising from our defenses that keeps us from not being present in the moment.
Even if you’re very capable of being present, intimacy becomes about being fully authentic in expressing yourself without feeling guilty, ashamed, or critical.
Once we are present, even if we are feeling fear or anger from our defenses, we can be present with those feelings in the body which creates greater intimacy within us. Loving ourselves in this moment, right now, just as we are! This is a big deal because it allows us to be more present with our loved ones, clients, and co-workers just as they are.
How much would the satisfaction in your relationships increase if you were able to be more intimately present, fully resourced, and aligned with your own state of being?
Satisfaction would increase Exponentially!
Take the Emotional Defenses Quiz to begin to learn how to Restore Intimacy in your life.