Our wombs are speaking to us, are we listening?
Each egg within us is a full moon, holding the seed potential for creative growth. Our wombs are sacred containers for creativity while also providing a safe place for the grieving process of menstruation to unfold. Providing a healing wellspring of wisdom for our lives as empowered spiritual women.
The eggs in the womb are as full moons full of creative potential. The womb as a sacred container receives the egg either for fertilization or to embark on a grieving process. As the full moon is released from the ovary, the womb creates a plush and comfortable lining for the egg to be held. From here, we can experience a multitude of emotions readying ourselves to let go of past patterns, so we can be cleansed and refreshed for the next stage of our creative lives.
This video explores how listening to the womb allows for greater health, creativity, and wisdom.
From Migraines to Flying Vagina
My Menstruation Grieving Cycle Story
For many years, I didn’t know my womb wanted me to listen to her. I simply dealt with the migraines, painful cramps, and sore breasts as they came along each month. Until the migraines reached a tipping point to where I was forced to rest for days on end, especially during the beginning of my cycle.
Instead of taking pain relievers, I chose to go into deep meditation to be present with the excruciating pain of the migraines and the wrenching cramps. Over time, I realized by being with my womb in this way, I was cultivating a new relationship with her. I was listening to her needs over and over again. Her needs of taking exquisite care of her and my body.
After a few years of resting during the beginning of my cycle, I worked through many physical, psychological, and emotional patterns. Patterns locked in my body since the time I began menstruating. Patterns of ignoring my womb’s intelligence to DO more. Patterns of being out of balance with giving too much. Patterns of low and high fluctuations of anger and sadness.
In deepening my meditation practice of being very very present with the sensations of pain in my body during my cycle, I have felt the pleasure within the pain. Almost like the pleasure of climbing a tall mountain — excruciating yet exhilarating all together. I’ve learned how to be present with the grief and the joy of being a woman. Feeling the joy riding underneath the grief. Joy as a multitude of sparks dancing just on the other side of deep sadness. I have felt the power of letting go. The power within fully feeling my emotions and physical sensations together. Allowing the experience instead of pushing my menstruation time away like some kind of pesky annoyance.
In addition to meditation, I have received tremendous results from Network Chiropractic work with Dr. Amanda Hessel. My sacrum and womb have opened up to release deep seated wounding and pain. The migraines stopped after only three months of network chiropractic work, and I haven’t had a migraine in almost a year!
With the combination of deep listening and presence in meditation along with the network chiropractic work, I have rekindled a new way of listening to my womb. I have learned quite a lot about my own menstruation process as a grieving process. I'm grateful to now feel the freedom of energy with my womb as The Flying Vagina!
Menstrual Cycle as a Grieving Process
Over the years of listening to my womb during my time of bleeding, I’ve noticed a connection with the fluctuations of my emotions following the grief cycle. I feel, we as woman, go through the grief stages each month. Similar to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s Stages of Grief.* Yes, every month we have the opportunity to release and cleanse old worn out beliefs, challenges, conflicts, patterns, depressions, anger, and stories. The cycles of grief each month may encompass what has happened the prior month, or might include the spiral of time over the past 6 months, or 3 years, or even past lives ready to be cleansed and released through the offering of blood.
Our blood carries the experiences, knowledge, and energies we’ve held over time. Our blood as an offering to the earth is an acknowledgement of how we carry cycles within our bodies. By offering our blood, we are honoring ourselves, in connection with the earth, as creative vessels of nurturing powerful beings.
The Grief Cycle as Elisabeth Kübler-Ross* has outlined is: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
This means, every month, we have an opportunity to become very aware of where we are in the grief cycle. The cycle has stages, yet the stages don’t necessarily go in order. In fact, they often fluctuate similar to the earth’s cycles, and depending on what we are releasing that month. One day it feels like the blossoming of spring flowers and happiness abounds while the next day is a winter snowy coldness filled with numbness.
In my menstrual cycle, my emotions tend to toggle back and forth between anger and sadness for awhile which demonstrates its own stage of bargaining. If I’ve rested and listened to my womb, then at some point I come into acceptance. When I was younger, I often stayed in the stage of depression for months on end. This relates back to my core wound of powerlessness. Feeling powerless in my life along with my womb’s desire to cleanse this feeling caused a deep depression to arise. This cycle repeated through my menstruation until I was ready to truly be present with and work with the physical, psychological, and emotional patterns of my cycle. I continue to release this core wound, and am in the last stages of unraveling it! I find I have much more freedom to be in my power, and more energy to express myself then ever before!
I truly believe the more we as women are able to become very aware of our cycles, and how our emotions are tugging at us, before, during, and after a cycle as a part of the grieving process, the more we are able to build awareness of our patterns desiring to be released. Allowing us to shift our patterns toward greater health.
By becoming more and more aware of when we feel angry and sad during the month, we then have a greater capacity to understand how our mental, emotional, physical, and/ or spiritual patterns might be triggering those emotions. Then we can be aware of how the emotions may have something to do with the letting go grief cycle of menstruation. I believe premenstrual stress is caused not only hormones, but also by our womb’s desire to release something our bodies have been holding onto for the past month, past year, or even past decade.
The bleeding process allows our bodies to flush out past patterns.
The more we are aware of the patterns we are releasing, the better we are able to remain in the process of grief, in the process of menstruation, and in connection with our womb’s intelligence.
In knowing the grief cycle, we can watch when the anger spikes up like a volcanic flair, and when sadness moves in like a muddy overflowing river.
We can ask our wombs to tell us what we are releasing this month. In our meditation practice, we can pay attention to where the thoughts go as they often point to the patterns we are releasing.
In our meditation practice, we can pay attention to the sensations in our bodies, noticing the pain. How the pain is telling us what and how we need to let go for this month.
In our meditation practice, we can go underneath the thoughts and the sensations to feel the emotions underneath. Allowing them to arise on their own. Feeling them deeply, and allowing them to move through in tears, angry growls, or dance movements.
I invite you to notice the cycle of grief within your own menstruation process.
The grieving process isn’t about feeling like a victim. This process is about building awareness of your body’s cycles. So that when you’re exceptionally angry, you will know the anger won’t last long, and may be followed up by sadness. This sadness may dip down into depression if there is a back log of past energy or past conditions desiring to be released.
Knowing our own cycles helps us realize we don’t have to remain in depression. For just on the other side of this deep well of sadness is acceptance. The process is not something to force. In fact, acceptance is simply a place of deeper allowing. By knowing the stages of grief, allows us to be at greater ease with the process. Granting us the opportunity to become very aware of our inner womb’s intelligence of letting go. This has been the case for me!
Cultivating Awareness of Your Menstrual Grieving Cycle
Step 1: To cultivate awareness of your menstrual cycle in the grieving process, notice which emotions or stages of grief have been the most present over the past month and past year.
For example, have you not been menstruating in months or years, and have yet to come to menopausal age? If so, what part of the grieving process are you not allowing to occur? What emotions have you not allowed yourself to feel?
Or is anger and rage a continual visitor causing you to rant and rave at even the simplest things such as what you’re going to eat for dinner or the way your partner brushes his/her teeth in the morning? Simple things causing spikes of rage?
Or perhaps sadness and depression have been prevalent throughout your life. You may need to acknowledge and witness deep ancestral grieving or a grieving of a core wound.
Step 2: Be very honest about where you are in your grieving menstrual cycle, then name it. Such as I’ve been in denial about not bleeding for 6 months. I’ve been full of rage whenever I'm near certain kinds of men or situations. I’ve been depressed, and feeling numb. Or I’ve been fluctuating between anger, sadness, and joy like riding a mini rollercoaster.
Step 3: Take time to be with your womb. The day before you menstruate or the first day of your menstruation spend at least one hour if not several hours with your womb to do the following practice. If you haven’t been menstruating for various reasons, choose a time—either the new or full moon—to do the following practice.
Try the following: Find a place to lay down where you feel very comfortable, and won’t be interrupted for at least one hour. Yes, at least one hour! Next, place your hands in a V over your womb with your fingers overlapping. Now breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Each time you breathe, make a connection with your womb by toning a tone like Ah. Or if you can visualize your womb with your imagination and inner sight, notice what you notice.
Notice if your womb seems to be a happy pink and red glowing container. Or whether there are contractions of pain or webs of fear. Then come back to the breath, feel the sensations in your womb, smile in your womb, breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. Feel any emotions arising, and allow them to flow. For now, letting go the need to know the source of the emotions or sensations. If you’re feeling numb, that’s also important to notice.
There are many amazing womb practitioners who can help heal the womb through specific massage, shamanic ceremonies, and prayers. Ixeeya Lin Beacher and Kathleen Lawler are two such practitioners, and both approach feminine womb healing in their unique and powerful ways. Both are fabulous!
The main thing is for you to develop a close relationship with your womb by acknowledging how she is going through a grieving cycle each month. How she desires your support and acknowledgement of this process by simply being with her. Taking time to listen to your womb’s intelligence is a gift that keeps on giving even through menopause.
Our Wombs are the Hearts of our Creativity.
When we have a greater awareness of our menstrual grieving process, we then have a greater understanding of our creative process. For within each woman, the primordial essence thrives as a wellspring of creative potential.
By listening to our wombs, we begin to have a greater and deeper awareness of our intuition, and following inner guidance. As we learn our specific rhythms with our cycles, we learn when to ask for guidance, when to rest and receive guidance, when to allow creative inspiration, when it’s time to take action, and when it’s time to reflect.
Our womb’s intelligence teaches us these creative rhythms as we befriend her, and listen to her needs. Opening up to her grieving process, gives us more permission and space to follow the flow of the universe within us. Granting us creative potential, and the wherewithal to bring the creative potential into fruition in fulfilling and thriving ways.
Our menstrual cycle as a grieving process is our creative process.
How we are with our wombs in her process shows us how we are in our own creative process. Reflect for a moment on the places where you feel in the most flow with your creative process: such as at the inspiration stage or creating a plan or collaborating vs. the places that feel stuck or as if you’re pulling yourself out of a mire of muddiness such as coming to completion with a project or even beginning one. These are all helpful aspects to notice. Because they also speak to your menstrual cycle. The menstrual cycle as a grieving process is our creative process.
Our wombs are sacred containers holding our creative potentials.
Even if your womb has undergone serious trauma through birthing, or cysts, or a hysterectomy, her essence continues to live within you, as you. Cultivating a relationship with our wombs or even reconnecting with our wombs after some time, allows us the ability to receive her wisdom of creative cycles including inspiration, rest, rejuvenation, nourishment, and the wisdom of death and dying as well. To then bring that wisdom out into the world to share with others.
As our wombs go through the grieving cycle, there is great wisdom waiting to be gleaned by being in the process with our wombs.
Often when we are feeling deep rage, it is due to us coming into our power. We need to release all of the times we’ve felt powerless, helpless, used, traumatized, victimized, and taken advantage of. These are actually ways where we have let ourselves down in some way. This is sad to say, but true. Which is why underneath even the most intense amount of rage is sadness. It is a deep grief of many things. A deep grief of how we’ve compromised our power, a deep grief of how we haven’t shown up for ourselves in our lives, a deep grief of letting ourselves down or allowing ourselves to feel oppressed or in submission to others. These are all very real and true feelings.
Within our deepest emotions lives our greatest wisdom.
For when we allow ourselves to go through the menstrual grieving process, we come out the other side with a greater understanding of who we are as women. We are refreshed and cleansed. By knowing how my menstrual grieving process works, at any given point in time, the more I am aware of how my body’s wisdom gifts me opportunities to know myself. This builds on a greater understanding of my creative process. And also helps tremendously with owning my own emotions which causes me to be more happy in relationship with my beloved, and in friendships.
Our womb’s intelligence gives us the gifts of our creative power and presence of womanhood.
At times, our menstrual grieving cycles may feel like we are releasing anger, rage, depression, or grief for the entire earth or for the thousands of years of feminine persecution and oppression. These are intense times, and many women feel the shift within their wombs and bodies on a great level.
Even though it’s very important to acknowledge the past thousand years of feminine persecution and oppression. It’s even more important for each of us to acknowledge our own personal journeys as women with our menstrual cycle, in this life time. To truly be as present as possible with the pain, the emotions, the sensations, the thoughts, all of it! So we can reclaim our empowerment, express ourselves creatively, speak our truths, and live an authentic thriving life.
Women are wisdom keepers.
The beauty of going through a menstrual cycle, and being present through the grieving process again and again and again is when we do come into menopause, we have earned our place as wisdom keepers. Because over time, after each egg releases through our beloved wombs, and we’ve been present to her grieving process, we have learned the wisdom of the cycles of the earth, the planets, the stars, and galaxies. Our wombs have become containers of eternal wisdom. Wisdom waiting to be shared with those who will listen.
* Stages of Grief - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross - her renowned book: On Death and Dying. (1969) Simon & Schuster: New York